This Is Real, But This Isn't Me
by Silent Scream of Crimson Tears
Summary: Takes place after Mitchie's lie is revealed. Meet the New Mitchie. Cold, Heartless Mitchie. But Shane is Determined to Get the Old Mitchie Back. She thinks he doesn't care, but he does. He just doesn't know it. Better than sounds. Please R
1. Ch 1: The New Mitchie

Chapter 1: The New Mitchie

Chapter Summary: Meet the New Mitchie. Dark, Heartless, Mitchie. She thinks no one cares, but she is deadly wrong. Shane cares. He just doesn't know it.

Chapter 1: The New Mitchie

Mitchie Torres walked out on the cold ground. It was cold, but she didn't remember it being cold before. Suddenly, a something moved against her foot, almost slimy or wet? She looked down to see blood running across her ankle. Her heart seemed to stop beating at that moment. Then out of the blue, screaming was heard. But, she didn't know where. Louder and louder it came then abruptly stopped. She looked around her to see nothing. Camp disappeared. Gone. From the darkness came a being. 'Who? Where did he come from?' thought Mitchie. A sharp pain rushed through her and…She woke up, sweat running down her face, onto the already soaked mattress. She looked around her to find herself in the cabin she shared with her mom. She just fell asleep, after her lie being exposed and all.

"Wow, I feel like shit," was all that came out of her mouth. But, she didn't feel right. Darkness seemed to still be consuming her, suffocating her. She felt like she was drowning in her lies, falling down into the darkness, never to live again. Ever since her lie's truth was told, Shane had been ignoring her. Mitchie soon grew hungry, so she stood and looked through her clothes. And there, hiding under her shirts was a knife, a thin little knife with dry blood on it. She rolled up her sleeve and…SLASH! Another cut to add to the many others. The bleeding, the pain disappeared with it. Drip Drop, blood soaking the floor. She made a promise that whenever she had a nightmare, she would cut her wrist, to show how weak she was. Weak, ha, it was becoming the only word in her vocabulary. She cleaned the cut and walked out to the Mess Hall to get some lunch.

As she entered the Mess Hall, all eyes turned to her, most staring, others, glaring. (HA, I MADE A RHYME!) She ignored the other campers and went to grab her food. Today they were having tacos. She grabbed a shell when someone pushed her forward. She looked to see non-other than Connect 3's Shane Gray, or to her, the man she loved. But, of course he didn't notice her, nobody ever noticed the real Mitchie. He looked straight at her face, glaring. By now, all the glaring was pissing her off,

"WHAT, YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!" yelled Mitchie, glaring icily at Shane, who looked taken back by her new attitude. So he did best, stayed quiet, making Mitchie annoyed, "That's what I thought." And with that she walked away, her appetite leaving her. So, she just dumped the food in the trash and left the Mess Hall, knowing perfectly well, Shane was starring at her every move.

_(Shane's POV)_

O.K., that is defiantly weird. A cold stare, yeah I expected that, but did she have to yell. Well, I guess I deserved it…Hey WAIT! She's the one who lied! And what was with that long sleeved shirt, maybe she's hiding something. Like a tattoo or a cut. Anyhow, I will find out.

_(End of Shane's POV)_

_(With Mitchie)_

Mitchie returned to her cabin after blowing up at Shane. 'Why'd I do that? Oh, man he probably now hates me.' thought Mitchie reaching in her bag for her knife, which stained the clothes with a little blood that was left on the knife. She took the knife and…SLASH! Another cut, for all the pain she had caused, this cut would show it, blood dripping down her arm, onto the wooden floor. To her, cutting was like a drug that takes away the pain. She cleaned the knife and threw it back into her bag not bothering to cover it with clothes, and then she cleaned the cut, making sure it left a scar. A knock came from the door. She opened the door to see... Shane standing there,

"What do you want?" she asked in monotone with a hint of icy, making him wince a little.

"I came to check on you," he replied. For a moment her lie was forgotten.

"I'm fine, now leave. I don't feel like getting yelled at for my mistake," And with that she slammed the door in his face, making him give the biggest shocked expression he had ever. The girl he likes no loves, just slammed the door in his face. Wow, she must hate me, thought Shane, walking ever so slowly away. He was still determined to find out her secret, but now, he would put the search on hold for tomorrow.

_-The next morning-_

Mitchie woke up to pain throbbing through her hand. She had a pale color on her face and her hair was everywhere. She had classes today, but she would skip them. Heck, she was so tired she skipped meals, too. Not that anyone would notice, thought Mitchie, closing her eyes to sleep. Soon she was asleep, unknown to her; someone was watching her, a worried look on their face. The person closed his eyes, and walked away, thinking of that morning and the new Mitchie.

_-End of First Chapter-_

Well, there's the first chapter. This totally came out of writer block. Sorry to those who wanted a new chapter for Love: The Art of Battle. I still need people to audition and I'm still thinking about how the first chapter will go. Thanx for reading, I will update depending on if I get reviews.


	2. Ch 2: This is Real, But This Isn't Me

Chapter 2: This is Real, But This Isn't Me

-With Mitchie-

Mitchie awoke to a dark cabin. She waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark and looked to see her mom asleep on her bed. She rolled onto her side and attempted to fall back asleep, but the pain was just too unbearable. She looked at her wrist in the dark, but could only make out the scars. She sighed and stood up, only to find herself weak and dizzy. Ha, I'm using the word weak more often, thought Mitchie, putting her slippers on and walking outside the cabin to the kitchen. She walked in and immediately went for the fridge. She grabbed an apple and walked out.

-With Shane-

Shane's cabin was next to the Mess Hall. He stirred in his sleep and woke up to a clanking in the kitchen and the sound of footsteps. He slowly got up and slipped on his black slippers. He made sure not to wake Nate or Jason, and then stepped out of the cabin, closing the door quietly. He walked to the Mess Hall to see a figure exiting and walking down towards the lake. Of course, being Shane Gray and having a horrible curiosity, he followed to see who it was. He hid behind a bush near the lake and looked to see if he could see their face. Holy crap, thought Shane, its Mitchie! He walked behind her a began to speak.

-With Mitchie-

Mitchie walked down to the lake, only thinking about the pain in her wrist. Damn, she thought, it hurts so damn badly. She sat at the edge of the lake and continued eating her apple, only to hear footsteps behind her. She looked to see that it was Shane! Damn, he's everywhere!

"What do you want?" asked Mitchie in an icy tone.

"Why are you here?" asked Shane, ignoring her question, but perfectly catching her tone.

"None of your business," retorted Mitchie, glaring darkly at Shane. She stood and began to walk away, but Shane grabbed her wrist, making her yelp in pain. Of course, being very observant, Shane noticed. Ok, he thought, I barely grabbed her. He looked down at her wrist (She's wearing short sleeve) to see scars all over her wrist. He gasped,

"Mitchie, why?" he asked so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. Anger flared in her.

"Why? WHY? I'LL TELL YOU WHY!? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ALONE! Shane," she stopped, then began to sing,

_Do you know what it's like?_

_To feel so in the dark_

_To dream about a life_

_When you're the shining star_

_Even though it seems like it's to far away_

_I have to believe in myself,_

_It's the only way…_

Shane watched in disbelief thinking, No Way…

_This is real_

_This is me,_

_I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be_

_Gonna let the light,_

_Shine on me,_

_Now I've found,_

_Who I'm am,_

_There's no way to hold it in,_

_No more hiding who I want to be, yeah_

_This is me_

One thought ran through Shane's mind, it's MITCHIE! Mitchie's the girl!

"Shane, you don't know what it's like to me alone, no one caring about you," whispered Mitchie, not moving at all, all her anger leaving her during the song. But what happened next surprised her. She pulled her body towards his into a gentle, loving hug,

"That's not true. I care," he whispered, soothingly. Mitchie froze at that moment, not believing what she heard. She looked up at him only to see him staring at her, his gaze soft, "Mitchie, I know you know I do. Please don't hurt yourself anymore. If you die, I will jump off a cliff just to be with you. Please be your self, this isn't you." Mitchie now had tears in her eyes. She buried her face in his chest while crying out,

"I promise, Shane. Please don't leave me. Please don't die. Please, I promise if you tell me this is real." Shane closed his eyes and tightened his grip whispering each word softly, "This is real." That did it. Those words made her life flip back to normal. Suddenly, Mitchie felt happy, the pain from her cuts disappearing. Now she knew,

"Thank you, Shane. This is real, but this isn't me," she whispered, crying non-stop on his shirt.

"Mitchie," he whispered, "I will help you get back to yourself. Soon we'll be talking every minute and canoeing in circles again." This caused Mitchie to giggle softly in his shirt.

"We should get back," she whispered, pulling away from his hug, looking in his beautiful eyes.

"Yeah," And with that, they walked off to Mitchie's cabin. Once there, they walked inside, making sure not to wake Connie (Mitchie's mom). Mitchie climbed into bed snuggling into the sheets. Shane smiled and turned to leave, but was stopped by a hand tugging at his wrist. He looked to see Mitchie smiling a small smile,

"Stay," she whispered, "I don't want to be alone." Shane nodded and slid next to her onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Mitchie, breathing in her scent. Soon, Mitchie fell into a light sleep with Shane watching her. He smiled and looked at her wrists. He traced the cuts, wishing each one away. He sighed and snuggled into the pillow, falling into a sweet slumber. Unknown to them, Connie was awake the whole time they got back. She sighed and soon fell asleep with a smile, happy Mitchie had someone who loved her.


	3. Ch 3: Confessions

Chapter 3: Confessions

-With Mitchie-

Darkness, that's all she could see. It was swallowing her, taking every last part of her body. Then two figures appeared out of no where. One she could make out as Shane, but the other she couldn't see. She blinked, trying to clear her vision, but failed. Then screaming and screaming, coming from everywhere. Suddenly, Shane was stabbed and killed.

"No, SHANE!" screamed Mitchie. She ran and ran for him, but it seemed like he was getting farther and farther away, "SHANE!"

"MITCHIE, WAKE UP!" a voice shouted. But Mitchie kept running for Shane,

"SHANE!!"

"PLEASE, MITCHIE WAKE UP!" She felt he body being shook, and then everything went white. Then someone started singing,

_Every time I think I'm closer to the Heart,_

_Of what it means to know just who I am,_

_I think I've finally found a better place to start,_

_But no one ever seems to understand,_

_I need to try,_

_To get to where you are,_

_Could it be you're not that far…?_

_You're the voice I hear inside my head the reason that I'm singing,_

_I need to find you,_

_I gotta find you,_

_You're the missing piece I need,_

_The song inside of me, _

_I need to find you,_

_I gotta find you_

She closed her eyes, smiling her sad smile and woke up.

-With Shane-

Shane woke to a shouting Mitchie.

"No, SHANE!" screamed Mitchie. Shane gripped her shoulders looking at her face to see her crying, and shouting,

"MITCHIE, WAKE UP!" No good she still shouting,

"SHANE!!" He started to shake her shoulders, yelling,

"PLEASE, MITCHIE WAKE UP!" Damn, she still asleep. He got an idea and started to sing,

_Every time I think I'm closer to the Heart,_

_Of what it means to know just who I am,_

_I think I've finally found a better place to start,_

_But no one ever seems to understand,_

_I need to try,_

_To get to where you are,_

_Could it be you're not that far…?_

_You're the voice I hear inside my head the reason that I'm singing,_

_I need to find you,_

_I gotta find you,_

_You're the missing piece I need,_

_The song inside of me, _

_I need to find you,_

_I gotta find you_

That did it, she's awake.

-With Mitchie-

Mitchie opened her eyes to see Shane staring at her, his expression full of worry. She blinked a couple times, and then stood, not really taking in her surroundings. She walked to her bag and opened it, with Shane watching closely. She pulled her knife out and pointed it at her wrist, but a hand gripped hers, stopping her. She looked to see Shane staring at the knife. She tried to get it out of his grip, but to no avail. So she yelled,

"Shane, let go." But still he didn't, only spoke,

"No Mitchie. You won't hurt yourself." His expression turned to a soft one and he looked at her face, hating that she was hurting herself. He did the only thing he knew to do. He ripped the knife from her hand and tossed it onto the bed, and then pulled her into a gentle hug whispering in her ear,

"Mitchie, you promised. Why do you want to do this?" Mitchie looked up at him, to see him staring at her, with a worried expression. She sighed then answered,

"I do it to remind myself how weak I am." Shane's eyes widened. How can she think she's weak? He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her waist, whispering and shouting at the same time,

"No, Mitchie, you're anything, but weak, you're the strongest person I've ever met." Mitchie looked down and pressed her face to his shirt, starting to cry. She wrapped her arms around his waist, like if she was trying to keep him from leaving.

"Shane, please don't leave me," she whispered in his shirt. He to a deep breath, then whispered each word, softly,

"I promise." They stayed like that until Mitchie's stomach decided to interrupt their moment. Shane chuckled while she blushed,

"Guess we better get to lunch," And with that he took her hand and led her to the Mess Hall. They walked in, only to be swarmed with stares and glares. Shane got stares, Mitchie got glares. But as usual, Mitchie ignored them and pulled Shane to get their food. Today was pizza. Mitchie's favorite, but no one knew that. They grabbed their slices and went to an abandoned table. Once there, they ate in silence, until Tess was sick of Shane being with Mitchie. She walked over to them and stopped behind Mitchie asking,

"Why are you with Bitchie, Shane? Remember, she LIED to everybody." Figures she would bring that up. Mitchie and Shane turned their head to look at her, while Shane spoke,

"Because I want to," And with that he turned back to eating with Mitchie, who already started to eat; now ignoring Tess, which of course pissed her off. She took her soda and dumped it onto Mitchie's head, causing Mitchie to yelp in surprise. Tess smirked and said bitterly,

"Bitchie, you're unwanted, GET OUT!" Mitchie just stood and dumped the rest of her food in the trash, and then walking out, with Shane shouting,

"MITCHIE!"

-With Shane-

"MITCHIE," Shane shouted, getting up to go with her, but he turned to Tess yelling,

"TESS!" he stared, but creepily smiled and spoke lowly, "Stay away from me and Mitchie. We hate you so stop bothering us." And with that he dumped his food and walked out, going after Mitchie, praying that she didn't hurt herself. He walked down to the lake, getting a feeling she was here. And he was right; she was sitting on the shore. He walked up to her whispering,

"Hey."

-With Mitchie-

"Hey," someone whispered, causing her to jump and turned to see Shane. She breath a sigh of relief, then turned back to the lake whispering,

"She's right, I'm unwanted." Shane sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her, in a loving hug, kissing the top of her head,

"That's not true, I want you," he whispered in her ear. Mitchie looked at him, asking,

"Why? Why do you want me? I'm a pathetic," Shane cut her off,

"Stop," he said, sternly, "Your not pathetic, I want you because I…love you," Mitchie's eyes widened, tears visible in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his waist whispering,

"I love you, too. But, I don't deserve you." Shane tightened his grip around her, whispering softly,

"No, don't think that. I love you, please don't think that." He sounded like he would cry if she did. She laid her head on his chest, crying out,

"I won't, I love you, too." And with that they stayed quiet, listening to the sounds of the lake and the sound of their breathing.

"We should head back," whispered Mitchie, noticing they skipped their classes, making right now being around 10:00 p.m. They stood and headed back to Mitchie's cabin, holding hands. They entered to find Mitchie's mom again (pretending) sleeping. Mitchie walked over to her bed, laying down in it. She nodded to Shane for him to stay, which is what he did. He climbed into the bed, wrapping his arm around her waist. Mitchie looked at his eyes, smiling softly. Shane grinned back, leaning down, placing his lips on hers in a gentle kiss. Mitchie smiled into the kiss, kiss back with all her love. Shane ran his tongue along her bottom lip, asking for entrance, which of course, she granted. This lasted for a good 3 minutes, but unfortunately air became a necessity, so they had to pull apart, panting. Mitchie laid her head on his chest, letting sleep consume her. Shane smiled when he heard her breathing going soft, telling him she was asleep. He snuggled his head in the crook of her neck, falling into a light sleep.

Connie grinned when she heard them go quiet; the only sound was their breathing. She knew Mitchie was happy. Before, Connie found the knife. She was worried for Mitchie, but she knew Shane would always be there for her. She disposed of the knife, making sure it was gone. She snuggled into her pillow before falling into a heavy sleep, the grin never leaving her face.

Well, that's the end! I would like to give a shout out to some of my reviewers. Joellen818 and xxZanessaxx! Thanx for the support, couldn't of done this without it! I'll update soon! Please, continue reading!


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